Why Do People Want or Have Kids!
I might get a lot of hate speech for this, but I can’t help venting out
Yesterday, I was on a conference call with my mother and a cousin who was recently “blessed” with a baby boy. My mother congratulated him and blessed the boy, then hinted I should do the same.
I replied, “Believe in God, brother, this too shall pass, all will be well.” For that, I got a sharp admonishment: “Your brain is corrupt.”
Honestly, when I see people having babies, I don’t feel like congratulating them. I feel like saying, “One more to face the existential dread and threat”
Harsh? Maybe.
But I can’t help venting my frustration with what I see as irresponsible parenting.
People have all sorts of reasons for having kids. Some are so absurd they’re almost funny:
- Because everyone has them.
- Because of societal obligation.
- Because of pressure from parents, especially in Asia.
- Because they want their lineage to continue.
- Who will take care of you when you’re old?
Sometimes I think, when a couple gets bored, they say, “Hey, let’s have kids.”
There are almost 8 billion people on this planet. Forget the 101 billion who have already died. Do you know how many 8 billion is? That’s 8, followed by nine zeros. Need perspective? Ask an astronaut.
Earth is fragile. We bend it, exploit it, and expect it not to break. Hunger, unemployment, pollution, environmental degradation, diseases—overpopulation is at the root of so much. Yet we keep going.
Why not adopt?
Even if you want kids, why not adopt? There are 140 million orphans in the world. That’s not a typo. They need love and parents more than anyone else.
“If all children between 0 and 18 years of age who have lost one or both parents are considered orphans, the number of orphans in the world today is estimated to be over 140 million.”
Why bring another child into the world when so many already need you?
If you truly love, does blood matter?
Parents claim they love their children most because they’re “their own blood.” What’s so sacred about blood? History is full of love and care from people with no relation at all.
Love is true and selfless only if it’s equal for all. Not just for your spouse, children, or relatives.
Look at Sushmita Sen and Sunny Leone. Sunny married and adopted a child, on top of having her own. Sushmita never married and adopted two girls. They did this in a society that makes it hard.
That’s courage. That’s love.
TOI Entertainment Desk
I say love is true and selfless only if it is equal for all and not exclusive to your family.
What should parents do?
As much as parents yearn for kids, kids yearn for love and attention. If you’re ready to have kids, are you ready for these three things?
1. Give time to your kids
If you chose to have kids, give them your time. Not your phone. Not your laptop. Your time.
2. Don’t use gadgets to keep them quiet
Children cry, throw tantrums, ask questions. That’s normal.
Don’t get mad. Don’t hand them a device. Don’t hit them just to silence them. If you can’t handle their curiosity, why have them?
3. Personal life matters more than professional life
If you’re always on “urgent calls” or “client meetings,” why have kids?
Either learn to balance, or focus on your career. Don’t make your children pay the price. Even if you adopt, be ready to give them your best.
I say love is true and selfless only if it is equal for all and not exclusive to your family.
Conclusion
Parenting is hard. Parenthood is harder.
Kids are God's gifts. But they are fragile.
They imitate, they learn. If you control them with force or neglect, that’s what they’ll return to you.
What are you teaching them?
Society blames children for not treating parents well. But do we ever blame parents for mistreating children? Why not?
Before you bring a God's gift home, ask yourself: are you ready to give them everything they need? Or are you just following the herd?
Agree? Disagree? Let’s hear it. You’re free to voice your opinion, just as I am.
