Why Do People Want Kids!

Yesterday, I was on a conference call with my mother and a cousin, who was recently ‘blessed’ with a baby boy. So my mother congratulated him and blessed the ‘blessed’ boy and hinted to me to do the same, and I was like, ‘Believe in God, brother, this too shall pass, all will be well. And I got an admonishment from my mother saying that my brain is corrupt.

The fact of the matter is that whenever I see people having babies, I don’t feel like congratulating them. Instead, I feel like saying, ‘One more burden to bear for this planet Earth.’ I know that I might get a lot of hate speech for this, but I can’t help venting out my frustration with insensitive and irresponsible parents.

People have ridiculous reasons to have kids; sometimes, it’s so absurd that it’s almost funny. So let me point out some of the common reasons given by couples:

• Because everyone has them;
• Because of societal obligation;
• Because of pressure from parents, especially in many Asian countries;
• Because they want their lineage to continue;
• Who will take care of you when you are old.

Sometimes I think when a couple gets bored of each other, they’ll say, ‘Hey!, let’s have kids.’

We all have heard of this adage, ‘One size can’t fit all.’ So, something that is good for someone can be disastrous for you. If your friends and neighbors have children, let them do it. Maybe it’s good for them, but why do you want to follow the herd? In India, we have this proverb ‘If someone is happy jumping in a well, will you do that too?

Sometimes I think when a couple gets bored of each other they’ll say, ‘Hey!, let’s have kids.’

There are almost 8 billion people on this planet presently living. Forget about the 101 billion who have already died. Do you know how many are 8 billion? It means 8, followed by nine zeros. Watch this video to get a perspective:

Earth is so fragile. Well, if you don’t believe me, ask the astronauts who are circling the Earth in the International Space Station. Earth is like that fruit-laden tree that we are bending and exploiting until it breaks.

I believe hunger, unemployment, pollution, degradation of the environment, the spread of diseases due to ecological imbalance, and many other problems we are facing today can be directly or indirectly attributed to over-population.

Why not adopt?

But even if you decide to have kids, then why not adopt? Children are languishing in orphanages to be adopted by a loving, compassionate soul. There are 140 million orphans in the world today who need caring and understanding parents more than anyone else. And I am quoting here:

“ If all children between 0 and 18 years of age who have lost one or both parents are considered orphans, the number of orphans in the world today is estimated to be over 140 million.” according to a leading research institute report.

What better way to shelter a child who needs it rather than giving it to a child who isn’t even born yet.

If you truly love, then it doesn’t matter if it’s your blood or not.

Parents sometimes say that we love our children the most as they are our own blood. I am asking what is so sacred about the blood relation. Our world history is replete with much pure love and generous help and care showered by people even without any relation.

I say love is true and selfless if it is equal for all and not exclusive to your wives, children, or relatives.

Take the example of Sushmita Sen, Miss Universe, and Sunny Leone. The latter had married and then adopted a kid in addition to having her own kids. Just think about it. The former didn’t even marry and adopted two girls. Get inspiration from them. And this happened despite the highly discriminatory and unfavorable society of India.

I say love is true and selfless only if it is equal for all and not exclusive to your wives, children, or relatives.

What should the parents do?

As much as we as parents yearn for kids, the kids ask for their parent’s love and attention. There are three things I would like to emphasize upon that every parent should be doing. In case you decide and are ready to have kids, then please take care of the following points:

1. Give time to your kids

Well, if you have taken this life-altering decision of having kids, then at least give them the time they deserve. What irks me these days is that the parents are busy with their smartphones or laptops leaving their children to fend for themselves.

2. Don’t give fancy gadgets to keep them quiet

You should have known in the first place or asked how you behaved when you were a kid, from your parents, that children throw tantrums, cry, and ask a lot of questions.

Don’t get irritated and get mad at them or don’t hook them to electronic gadgets or worse, beat them ‘to get rid of them.’ If you can’t bear their crying, their genuine curiosity, which needs to be nurtured, then why give them birth in the first place?

3. Personal life is more important than professional life

Well, if you think otherwise or you don’t have the time because you have an ‘urgent call’ or ‘a client meeting’ even at home, then why have children. Either learn to balance the two lives you have created for yourself or focus on your professional life and forget about having kids.

Even if you decide to adopt, ensure that you are willing to give your kid all the attention and love.

Conclusion

Parenting is not easy, and neither is parenthood. It tests our patience and control to the core. Children are very fragile and susceptible. They imitate and learn. So, remember, if you use force to control them or even shy away from your responsibility, that’s the same treatment you’d get in return because that’s what you have taught your children to do.

This makes me question society for blaming the children for not treating their old parents well, but it’s never vice-versa. Do the parents have the right to treat their children in whatever way they like?

We need to be answerable to ourselves and our children for our actions. Therefore, it’s imperative to know if we are willing to give everything to our children before welcoming them to our home.

This makes me question society for blaming the children for not treating their old parents well but it’s never vice-versa. Do the parents have the right to treat their children in whatever way they like?

Respond to your opinions whether you agree or disagree. You are free to voice your opinion just like I am.

My weekly newsletter on Substack is called Know Yourself Better.

Every Sunday, I send an email containing something that will make you ponder, smile, and feel more motivated. I also share updates on the books, podcasts, and videos that I’m currently savoring. It’s insightful, enlightening, non-spammy, and forever free.