Face the Pain Instead of Running Away

Our first response to when we feel low or stressed out or even pain is to numb our senses or give in to distractions.

I will tell you about my current situation. After 3 pm today I suddenly started feeling irritated and frustrated, maybe it was building from earlier and got triggered by some event, and I was noticing as the feeling was getting stronger.

I felt helpless. I thought after reaching home and taking a shower and talking to my wife would make the feeling go away. But that didn’t happen. I could constantly feel it getting intense.

So, my mind came up with a survival response — let’s read a book or watch Wimbledon live and get my mind off of it. Then it got me thinking. Why do we always seek distraction or numb our senses whenever we feel the slightest bit of emotional or mental discomfort.

Then it got me thinking. Why do we always seek distraction or numb our senses whenever we feel the slightest bit of emotional or mental discomfort.

Some people resort to binge-eating, some go for binge-watching, some start checking their social media feed and some like me start to read or listen to music. While reading is the least destructive of it all still it is acting as an escape route.

Why don’t we face the pain?

Why don’t we acknowledge it?

Because only after acknowledging it we can truly do something about it. We can not get rid of it by running away. We have to ride the feeling as a surfer rides on the wave.

But it’s easier said than done. But at least now I know what to do.

So if I am adamant about changing my reaction to the pain I will somehow find the ‘real solutions’ to deal with it head-on.

What I think can help us ‘ride the tide’ is Mindfulness Meditation. It simply means to see things as they really are. Observe whatever is happening to you and around you. The word is Observe. Watch attentively. Be aware.

The following verse of Rumi can help us prepare for moments like these:

Let a teacher wave away the flies and put a plaster on the wound.
Don’t turn your head. Keep looking at the bandaged place.
That’s where the light enters you.
And don’t believe for a moment that you’re healing yourself.

Read the second line again: ‘Don’t turn your head. Keep looking at the bandaged place.’

That’s what I meant. That just observing and being aware of the uneasy feelings can help us ease the storm. It slowly starts to dissipate and lose its steam.

I have noticed it happening with me. Whenever I am in grip some emotion or a feeling that I want to go away, I just observe it with all my attention and the emotion/feeling subsides on its own.

But in cases when the storm has gotten out of control then don’t hesitate in seeking the help of a qualified, professional counselor or psychiatrist. I can say that because I am myself ailing from a mental illness and I know how much it hurts.

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